Dating Escapade Admirers Pillows

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

"You lack spontaniety."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

Alligator Bars

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

Two bedbugs after a tryst.

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

Tunnel of Love, Niagara Falls, NY.

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, but nobody wants to go out with me for a second date on Valentine's Day. The architect made other plans and the banker has no interest in seeing me again. The pilot doesn't see our relationship getting off the ground and the teacher thinks one date was enough --- she said she learned her lesson. What about the dietitian? I thought you two had a great time. We did --- but she's looking for somebody higher up the food chain.

'And that m'lord concludes the case for the defence. . . '

Are you honestly trying to play footsie with me? I never mix footsie with honesty.

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."