Dating Escapades Fan Pillows

'I finally met a macho, self-assured, good-looking guy, and wouldn't you know it? - He's doing thirty years to life!'

"She's just being Koi."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

When packing for a weekend with Enid, Chad allowed for all kinds of emotional weather.

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"

"He said he was a dog person so I dated him, but he was secretly a cat person."

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

'Well I struck out that time. She says she doesn't drink.'

"And she's bringing her TWIN!!"

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

'Got any women repellent?'

A young man creating an awkward silence

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

"It's the unibrow, isn't it?"

Mona Lisa in a bar: 'Forget it, Ted...she's way out of your league!'

'I don't think of you as a sex object, Irene -- I think of you as two sex objects!'

"I'm just tired of chasing after men who are gingerbread."

'I'll just ring mother to see if I'm free to take you out on Saturday.'

'...then he asked me to drive down the road with the mobile to give him phone sex.'