Dating Escapades Fan Pillows

'I finally met a macho, self-assured, good-looking guy, and wouldn't you know it? - He's doing thirty years to life!'

"She's just being Koi."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

When packing for a weekend with Enid, Chad allowed for all kinds of emotional weather.

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

"He said he was a dog person so I dated him, but he was secretly a cat person."

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

Give that woman a Pink Squirrel! Give that man a black eye.

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."

'Well I struck out that time. She says she doesn't drink.'

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

"And she's bringing her TWIN!!"

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

'Oh sure, Rupert's lovely, but his mate's a total slime-bag.'

The only time sparks flew on my date with this guy was when the muffler shook loose from his junky car.

I'm in a quandary, Ann. On the one hand, I was hoping to have "the most fun you can have without laughing" tonight. On the other hand, this being a comic strip, going for laughs is the whole idea. What would Beetle Bailey do?

A young man creating an awkward silence

'Got any women repellent?'

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

"It's the unibrow, isn't it?"

Mona Lisa in a bar: 'Forget it, Ted...she's way out of your league!'

'I don't think of you as a sex object, Irene -- I think of you as two sex objects!'

Why did you cancel your Uber?

'I'll just ring mother to see if I'm free to take you out on Saturday.'