Dating Escapades Enthusiast Pillows

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"You lack spontaniety."

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

The perfect man

Biological Cuckoo clock

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"She said don't forget the straw."

Romantic Coffee Dates

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

Russian Dating.

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."