Matchmaking Misadventures Pillows

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

Lovematch Dating . . . Please wait here.

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

Carbon Dating Agency

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

Elderly spinster commenting on a marriage

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"I think they'll be perfect together. He's a journalist and she's a complete composite."

Dating site - buy a dog.

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

"You want to see me, Boss?"

'Have you got any called Samantha?'

The Adventures of Morton :This has been my best first date ever...Sooo, what about our plans for the future? YOu know, marriage, kids?...Tell me if I move too fast, okay?

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."

"Apparently, those phones are more potent than my arrows."

'Trust me honey, Aunt Iris says he's a Prince!'

"The computer appears to have matched you up with yourself Mr Narcissus"

'Oh sure, Rupert's lovely, but his mate's a total slime-bag.'

'I'd like to meet a girl--', 'Oh, a homophobe, eh?'