Matchmaking Misadventures Pillows

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

Lovematch Dating . . . Please wait here.

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Carbon Dating Agency

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

Elderly spinster commenting on a marriage

"I think they'll be perfect together. He's a journalist and she's a complete composite."

"You want to see me, Boss?"

'Have you got any called Samantha?'

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

Dating site - buy a dog.

The Adventures of Morton :This has been my best first date ever...Sooo, what about our plans for the future? YOu know, marriage, kids?...Tell me if I move too fast, okay?

"Apparently, those phones are more potent than my arrows."

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."

'Trust me honey, Aunt Iris says he's a Prince!'

"The computer appears to have matched you up with yourself Mr Narcissus"

'I'd like to meet a girl--', 'Oh, a homophobe, eh?'

'I'm waiting for the right introduction agency to come along.'