Matchmaking Mishaps Pillows

'I just wanna looker for the occasional wife swap party.'

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Everybody meets online these days."

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

Carbon Dating Agency

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

Are you sure that's not your age?

Elderly spinster commenting on a marriage

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

'Have you got any called Samantha?'

Dating site - buy a dog.

"You want to see me, Boss?"

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."

"The computer appears to have matched you up with yourself Mr Narcissus"

'I think I would get along really well with someone as disagreeable as me.'

'Anyone for doubles?'

"he was a computer error of the Computer Dating Service"

'It's been an interesting evening. Do you mind if I use your ledge for a minute?'

Goalie saves a boot instead of a football.

"I always thought you'd look great, covered in spiders."

'That's amazing. According to the computer, I'm your perfect match!'

"Okay sir.I've fed your personal profile into the computer,and your ideal partner should look something like..."