Matchmaker Of The Past Pillows

Carbon Dating Agency

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Asking out a palm reader.

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Today's love

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

Acme Dating Service

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"Kip paints caves."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."