Matchmaker's Muse Pillows

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Carbon Dating Agency

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

Witch in bed reading: 'The Joy of Hex'.

"You want to see me, Boss?"

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

The Adventures of Morton :This has been my best first date ever...Sooo, what about our plans for the future? YOu know, marriage, kids?...Tell me if I move too fast, okay?

Soulmates.

A woman with a laptop

Hi! You must be a basketball player,'cause Mom says she's on the rebound!

The Devil and an angel talk by the water cooler.

"Well Mom, thanks for setting us up, getting me to the restaurant on time, and getting the conversation started, but I think I can take it from here."

"Single!" "Single!" "Single!" "Wait! I'll get my son!"

'You've been matched with a pub in Wigan' (to a man at a dating agency).

"I know we've only just met, but looking to the future, do you prefer a spring or summer wedding?"