Matchmaker's Dream Pillows

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

Today's love

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

Real Estate Personals

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

Acme Dating Service

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."