Matchmaker's Dream Gifts

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

Today's love

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

Real Estate Personals

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"