Matchmaker's Apprentice Pillows

'After the computer matched us, the company issued a software patch to repair its program.'

Hi! You must be a basketball player,'cause Mom says she's on the rebound!

"-and he says his best friend wants to meet you!"

A woman with a laptop

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Everybody meets online these days."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

Acme Dating Service

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Carbon Dating Agency

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'