Matchmaker In Training Pillows

"Single!" "Single!" "Single!" "Wait! I'll get my son!"

"I know we've only just met, but looking to the future, do you prefer a spring or summer wedding?"

Single socks? Looking to hook up with other single socks in your area?

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Everybody meets online these days."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'How are Rod and Cindy getting on?' 'Like a house on fire!'

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

Are you sure that's not your age?