Matchmaking Master Pillows

'How are Rod and Cindy getting on?' 'Like a house on fire!'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

Today's love

"Everybody meets online these days."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"You never seem to hear a word I say to you!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

Cupid

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Match maker

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"