Matchmaking Maestro Pillows

Are you sure that's not your age?

By borrowing his niece every Friday night, Vern had found a surefire way to meet women.

'I think I would get along really well with someone as disagreeable as me.'

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Everybody meets online these days."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

Today's love

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

"My wife and I have a love-mate relationship."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'Almost done.'

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Our marriage has been experiencing a spot of turbulence lately."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"On my dating website it said would be the perfect match."

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'How are Rod and Cindy getting on?' 'Like a house on fire!'

Romance Music

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

Online Dating

"I think they'll be perfect together. He's a journalist and she's a complete composite."

"Carl! Carl! He's telling the truth! He's married. The single guy lives next door."

Marriage Guidance - "Do you find that hating each other puts a strain on your relationship?"

Who's Who in bed?