Skills Matchmaker Pillows

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Everybody meets online these days."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Today's love

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

Cupid

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Match maker

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

Are you sure that's not your age?