Master Of Snark Pillows

"I've always feared this day would come. I'm running out of snarky replies."

The Snarky District

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

S**t Threw a Goose

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

Art Gallery.

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

'Among my many talents, not shown on my resume, is that I can say 'multivarient transformative interactive analytical heterogenacity in management leadership' three times fast.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Oooh, man! You really has me going with that fake shark fin!!'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

"No, the guy who had this job before me didn't retire - he escaped."

'Never mind dear, at least you cut him with your razor sharp wit.'

"What about me? Am I not a natural disaster?"

"This one will work for a minute, then jag viciously to the left, rotate 360 degrees, then only move sideways!"

"I warned you, Silvia, all 8 foot lizard creatures are the same."

"There's good news and bad news. The good news is, I've made a generous contribution to your leaving present."

"O.K., toss and turn and sigh so loud that I have to wake up and ask what's wrong."

Greg and Lee were having hours of fun with their photo copier breakdown remote control.

I've started so I'll finish...

"This book can't be very sophisticated...I understood it right away."

"Is that coffee I smell?" "It is - and you do."

'The parachute, McConnel, you ****** self-centered idiot! Pull the ripcord.'

"Do you guys know how lucky you are to have a big house that's not too big?"

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"

"I take the fun out of everything. What do you do?"

'Professional strength deodorant? Are there professional sweaters? Is there a professional sweaters tour? Are there amateur sweaters?'

Nitpicking Championships

"Hello, customer support? My server appears to be down."

"Your call isn't at all important to us. That is why you are currently being held thirty-seventh in a queue..."

"At the tone, the time will be LATER THAN YOU THINK."