Snark Lover Pillows

The Snarky District

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Occu-Pie Mars

'That's our mission statement.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Trump pardons

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Do Not Resuscitate

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Oligarchy

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"Away with the warmonger!"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

This Message Has No Content

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

National Everything Awareness Day

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."