Snarky Humor Lover Pillows

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

"The voice pattern is similar to Dad's."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Look! No hands!"

Crap from the future.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

The Snarky District

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Trappist Monk Discord

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'What does it say, Dad?'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"You are still here."

The Hammer

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

The Monroe Doctrine

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Anti-inflammation recipes

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."