Computer Snark Lover Pillows

"Hello, customer support? My server appears to be down."

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

The Snarky District

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Terry had a computer bug.

Hardware and software

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

The Smartass Phone

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

'It does data processing, word processing and list processing. Get me some data, some words and some lists.'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"...and another thing...stop referring to me as user-friendly"

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Religion and technology.

'You are not haunted by the voices of the dead - You are tuned to four extra.'

God creates humans.

Computer scared of user

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor

'Okay! Who changed my screensaver?'

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"We programmed it to behave exactly like a human... it never stops complaining."