Computer Comedy Enthusiast Pillows

System been down long?

"Before you soak your monitor in that soapy water, I suggest doing some research on how to properly clean it."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Terry had a computer bug.

Hardware and software

"You are still here."

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'It does data processing, word processing and list processing. Get me some data, some words and some lists.'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

AI Summit

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"It's amazing! There's even a place to put your beer!"

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.