Computer Humor Lover Pillows

'I never knew my fatherboard.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Terry had a computer bug.

Hardware and software

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"You are still here."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'It does data processing, word processing and list processing. Get me some data, some words and some lists.'

'Mom, I need a push.'

Robot Robber

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

"It's amazing! There's even a place to put your beer!"

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."