Snark Master Pillows

"Is that coffee I smell?" "It is - and you do."

Hungry child

The Snarky District

"Eat me"

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"I told you a firecracker behind his back didn't seem like a good idea!"

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

Swimming Prankster

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

S**t Threw a Goose

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"Ready...."

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.

'But on the positive side, money can't buy happiness - so who cares?'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

"I want you to leave here today with a message of joy!..."

'Joke emporium' 'Next prankster'

"Whatever the results you get from an election it's important to be able to present them in the best possible light..."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

"OMG! The PDA was 2 much. I was lol. . . Oh, sorry Daddy, I'm just so use to texting!"

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

I heard you're going to Mars to star on some reality show. Yep. Mars One. We launch ten years from now. Ten years? You don't have the attention span to wait ten minutes. In ten years, you'll have forgotten all about this. And when that day comes, I will mock and berate you mercilessly. You'll be dead in ten years. Ridiculing you gives me a reason to go on! Being around you gives me a reason to go to Mars.

'This is Miss Pavlovna — she's our new Vice-President in charge of spin control.'

Now I'd like to depart from my prepared text and speak from the heart...

"Ever read about a politician who didn't need the press?"