Snack Master Pillows

"Jogging back and forth to the refrigerator doesn't qualify as exercise."

"Get off the fridge Kitty. I'm blowing the doors open."

Hungry child

'He gets all his exercise watching the sports channel.'

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Chez Nous Menu

Bad for you but to die for

Little league world series of poker.

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

To do before Saturday...

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Jewish Geometry

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Pull and all nighter...

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

Parisian man eating pastries

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"In da house"

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

Christmas Canapes

Budget Munchies

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

"Guac-A-Mole"