Snack Guru Pillows

Ernie often says he's searching for answers to life's big questions. I doubt he'll find any because the only place he ever seems to look is in the refrigerator.

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

Rage.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Hungry child

Chez Nous Menu

Bad for you but to die for

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

Little league world series of poker.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Trail mix?"

To do before Saturday...

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Love is when you watch television together.

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

Love is when you watch television together.

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."