Snacking Strategist Pillows

"Jake, please hold my calls and fetch my Cheetos gloves."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Chez Nous Menu

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Little league world series of poker.

To do before Saturday...

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Jeff's Smorgasbord

'This is a business lunch, Lowden. So, don't even think about enjoying yourself.'

Pull and all nighter...

Champagne

'Strained Carrots Again? What am I being punished for this time?'

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

Making healthy eating bearable.

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

"In da house"

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

Christmas Canapes

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."