Snack Decision Strategist Pillows

Vending machines labeled 'SNACKS' and 'STATINS.'

Chez Nous Menu

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Little league world series of poker.

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

To do before Saturday...

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Champagne

'Strained Carrots Again? What am I being punished for this time?'

Pull and all nighter...

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

"In da house"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

Making healthy eating bearable.

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

Christmas Canapes

'We cut it into teensy-weensy squares.'

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"