Snack Savvy Pillows

Champagne

"We are starting our diet tomorrow, so we need to eat this lot today."

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Rage.

Chez Nous Menu

Bad for you but to die for

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Little league world series of poker.

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Love is when you watch television together.

To do before Saturday...

"Trail mix?"

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'