Snacking Expert Pillows

"Those ankle weights will help you lose weight. They're so heavy you won't be able to walk to the kitchen."

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Rage.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Chez Nous Menu

Little league world series of poker.

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

To do before Saturday...

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Love is when you watch television together.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Trail mix?"

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'