Snackologist Pillows

'Making the best of a bad situation, we filled the volcano with popcorn!'

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Rage.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Chez Nous Menu

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Little league world series of poker.

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Love is when you watch television together.

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Trail mix?"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

To do before Saturday...

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

Love is when you watch television together.

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."