Snack Sleuth Pillows

"Ed! Help me with this puzzle. I can’t get any pieces to fit." "Put on your glasses, Louise. These are corn chips."

Naughty Food

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

"I can tell you've been cheating on your diet. These food wrappers are like your eating browser history."

"It appears it's middle was licked out."

Bad for you but to die for

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

Honest Vending

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Jewish Geometry

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"Works every time."

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Student Food Pyramid

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

"You complete me."

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer