Snack Table Strategist Pillows

"I can't wait for Sandy to show up. She's such a character."

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Chez Nous Menu

Hungry child

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Little league world series of poker.

To do before Saturday...

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Jeff's Smorgasbord

'This is a business lunch, Lowden. So, don't even think about enjoying yourself.'

'Strained Carrots Again? What am I being punished for this time?'

Pull and all nighter...

Champagne

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"In da house"

Making healthy eating bearable.

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"Alexa, tell me ways I can be less of a lazy slob who won't get up to turn off the lights."

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

Christmas Canapes

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

'She's on the rotation diet. Every time I turn around she's eating something.'

"Guac-A-Mole"

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."