Master Of Snark T-Shirts

"I've always feared this day would come. I'm running out of snarky replies."

The Snarky District

S**t Threw a Goose

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

Art Gallery.

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

'Among my many talents, not shown on my resume, is that I can say 'multivarient transformative interactive analytical heterogenacity in management leadership' three times fast.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

'Oooh, man! You really has me going with that fake shark fin!!'

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

"No, the guy who had this job before me didn't retire - he escaped."

'Never mind dear, at least you cut him with your razor sharp wit.'

"I warned you, Silvia, all 8 foot lizard creatures are the same."

"This one will work for a minute, then jag viciously to the left, rotate 360 degrees, then only move sideways!"

"What about me? Am I not a natural disaster?"

"There's good news and bad news. The good news is, I've made a generous contribution to your leaving present."

"O.K., toss and turn and sigh so loud that I have to wake up and ask what's wrong."

I've started so I'll finish...

'The parachute, McConnel, you ****** self-centered idiot! Pull the ripcord.'

"Do you guys know how lucky you are to have a big house that's not too big?"

"This book can't be very sophisticated...I understood it right away."

"Looks like we won't be needing you this year...we got our own gifts!"

"Is that coffee I smell?" "It is - and you do."

"I take the fun out of everything. What do you do?"

"Hello, customer support? My server appears to be down."

'Professional strength deodorant? Are there professional sweaters? Is there a professional sweaters tour? Are there amateur sweaters?'

Nitpicking Championships

'I'm a failure as a manager and husband.'

"Your call isn't at all important to us. That is why you are currently being held thirty-seventh in a queue..."