Master Of Procrastination Gifts

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

Procrastination is not tax deductible.

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

"I want to compliment you on your work- tell me when you do some."

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

Lance, when are you going to do that thing I asked you to do? You'll have to narrow it down way more than that, Gloria.

"I always put things off until the last minute."

'He went to a seminar on getting motivated so he could get out of doing any real work.'

'When someone asks where you work, what do you tell them?'

'Never put off till tomorrow something you can put off till the day after tomorrow...'

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

"When are you going to admit that you're a procrastinator?"

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

Research and Development: Now, Never.

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

How lazy people decide what to eat

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

Chairmen of the Bored

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

'IN--IGNORE--OUT'

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."