Procrastinator In Training Gifts

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

How lazy people decide what to eat

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

In, Out, Shake it all about

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

'I understand you have nothing to do, York.'

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

Chairmen of the Bored

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."