Procrastination Master Gifts

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

'Could you ask me how school was later? Right now I'm off-line.'

"I'm tying to avoid the missteps of early success."

"He ran some linear equations, threw in a few theorems, and before I knew it I was buying rust proofing."

'In just ten years he's accomplished what has taken others weeks to do.'

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

"First, I don't feel like mowing the lawn, and second, what monsoon?"

'Fermat's Next-to-Last Theorem'

"You said you'd be 'five minutes,’ nine months ago."

Jeff's performance review worries dissolved when he stumbled upon the YouTube video of his supervisor at Mardi Gras a few years ago.

"The parking is terrible, so we decided to never do anything again."

'Bentley, can I see you for a minute...'

'I really think we need to change the bin bag...'

'Please cover for me Carol. I'll be away from my desk, roaming the cubicles, searching for sports talk.'

"Anything worth doing is worth hiring someone to do it well."

'You can't fully appreciate doing nothing unless you have a lot of jobs you should be doing. . .'

Time flies on social media

"How's your homework going?"

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

Deadline

"I like office work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours!"

"There's no way I'll ever be good at something unless there's a series of YouTube videos explaining it."

"I'm not screwing around on my computer. . . I'm screwing around on my phone."

Inactive wear store.

'Appointment?' 'No, I'm finishing the magazine.'

Office worker is sleeping in 'out cold' desk tray.

In trays: Look into it/Get back to you.

'Why so early?'

In, Out and Let Slide Tray.

"Define 'busy'...."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"You probably don't need to write 'sorry for the delayed reply' every time, Natasha."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

It may not look like I am working, but I am not.