Procrastination Expert Gifts

Modern art: I call it Procrastination.

"Should we have lunch first?"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

Committee for kicking the can down the road

Head in the sand.

"Homework! I haven't got time to do homework."

Monday Checklist.

"I exercise almost everyday. Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday..."

"No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions."

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

'I cut the grass once, but it grew again.'

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

'This report, that your downloaded, is very good. Did you staple it yourself?'

"I find watering the plants in the middle of a conversation helps me keep my mind of what you're saying."

"I think we're losing 'em."

"I am doing something about all the snow. I'm hoping for an early spring."

Hi, I'm that bridge you said you'd cross when you came to it!

"But I'm only half way through my to-do list."

"Don't you have a big test tomorrow?"

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

'Well done Hopkins - I hear you cleared your in tray for the first time in twenty years.'

'I misplaced my list of things to do.'

'If Wednesday is hump day, then Thursday is slump day, when you realise you have two whole days to go, and Friday is dump day, when they drop a ton of work on you at the last minute.'

"No, Mr Cummings, I haven`t dealt with the accounts file yet. I`m getting to it as quickly as I can."

E=Equals

'Explain these 3,674 games of solitaire we found on your office computer?'

'When he shifts gears... it's always into park.'

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

'It took him 12 years and 743 dates before he proposed; so don't be surprised it took him 5 glasses to decide the wine is off.'

"Hmm... I wonder what social media-driven bandwagon I can latch onto today..."

"I won't be able to do any work today because I forgot to wear my special accounting socks."

'Trash waits for no man.'

'I needed some relief from data overload.'

"I'm not looking forward to my colonoscopy tomorrow so I rescheduled for yesterday."