Procrastination Practitioner Gifts

'Let's hold off making a decision until we have even more information we don't really need.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"I wasn't expecting to be in here for so long."

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

Travelogue

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

How lazy people decide what to eat

Chairmen of the Bored