Procrastination Specialist Gifts

'IN--IGNORE--OUT'

Yeah, I guess it's time to do a little spring cleaning.

"The usual, he calls it relaxation, I call it rigor mortis."

'This is a very thought provoking program. The thought it's provoking is: Why am I watching this garbage?'

"Are you going to help with the washing up?"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

How lazy people decide what to eat

'I understand you have nothing to do, York.'

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

Chairmen of the Bored

In, Out, Shake it all about

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?