Procrastination Specialist Gifts

'IN--IGNORE--OUT'

"The usual, he calls it relaxation, I call it rigor mortis."

'This is a very thought provoking program. The thought it's provoking is: Why am I watching this garbage?'

"Are you going to help with the washing up?"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

How lazy people decide what to eat

'I understand you have nothing to do, York.'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

In, Out, Shake it all about

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

Chairmen of the Bored

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'