Professional Procrastinators Gifts

"I'm not either goofing off! - I'm doing a thought experiment!"

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Yeti/Not Yeti

Me at 22 vs. me at 29

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

How lazy people decide what to eat

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

In, Out, Shake it all about

Chairmen of the Bored

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

'I understand you have nothing to do, York.'

'IN--IGNORE--OUT'

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

Procrastinators Incorporated

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

Working from home to-do list.

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"He's my hero. At 5 he just knocks everything off his desk and calls it a day."