Procrastination Guru Gifts

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

"From nine until one, you'll be getting nothing done. From one until five, you'll be asking yourself how that was possible."

Never put off what you can do today, There'll be a law against it tomorrow.

"We can't go on meeting like this."

Procrastinators anonymous - Tonight's meeting postponed. To be rescheduled eventually.

"I have a mango in the fridge that I can't deal with."

State U. He procrastinated and is now trying to do all the work for his middle English literature class in a couple of days. "Canterburied," is he?!

What's it like having your work hours cut back? It's been interesting, good. I find myself less stressed. For instance, I've got a legal brief due next week and I'm not freaking out. EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED ON IT YET! You do seem calmer. Quick, I need a pen and a copy of the Constitution.

"Is that what we pay him seven and six an hour for."

'You weight 85 kg and have forgotten your wife's birthday. The shops close in ten minutes.'

"Sorry, my lunch break may have overrun..."

'I just got off the phone with my long-time writing partner who's bringing over my deathbed confessional masterpiece. In the meantime, who's up for some idle chit-chat? How about all this rain we've been getting, huh?!"

"Time flies" on social media platforms

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"Don't open me, you fool!"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

'I think it has reached critical mass.'

"I think I see your deadline approaching."