The Procrastination Pro Gifts

"If only I could think of a way harness all this laziness."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

'I think it has reached critical mass.'

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

How lazy people decide what to eat

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

'I understand you have nothing to do, York.'

Chairmen of the Bored

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

In, Out, Shake it all about

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"He's my hero. At 5 he just knocks everything off his desk and calls it a day."

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."