Procrastination Pros Gifts

"Why don't you slip into your shooting jacket with the bellows pockets and the double shoulder patches and nip down to the corner for a quart of milk?"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

"I thought you were studying biology?"

'Don't push it, son. You can't become a couch potato until you've mastered being a chair spud.'

...When are you going to make your retirement official?

Reasons to avoid training No. 2453

"Papi, is it okay to fail?"

"Take the cords out of your ears. You can't transfer the words from the text book to your brain. You have to actually read the book."

"It's Tuesday. Is there any point starting a new project so shortly before the weekend?"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"I wasn't expecting to be in here for so long."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Travelogue

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."