Procrastination Expert Pillows

Modern art: I call it Procrastination.

"Should we have lunch first?"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

Committee for kicking the can down the road

Head in the sand.

"Homework! I haven't got time to do homework."

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

Monday Checklist.

"No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions."

"I exercise almost everyday. Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday..."

'I cut the grass once, but it grew again.'

'This report, that your downloaded, is very good. Did you staple it yourself?'

"I think we're losing 'em."

"I find watering the plants in the middle of a conversation helps me keep my mind of what you're saying."

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

"No, Mr Cummings, I haven`t dealt with the accounts file yet. I`m getting to it as quickly as I can."

'Well done Hopkins - I hear you cleared your in tray for the first time in twenty years.'

'If Wednesday is hump day, then Thursday is slump day, when you realise you have two whole days to go, and Friday is dump day, when they drop a ton of work on you at the last minute.'

'Explain these 3,674 games of solitaire we found on your office computer?'

'When he shifts gears... it's always into park.'

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

'I misplaced my list of things to do.'

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Hi, I'm that bridge you said you'd cross when you came to it!

"Don't you have a big test tomorrow?"

"But I'm only half way through my to-do list."

"I am doing something about all the snow. I'm hoping for an early spring."

In/Out/Can We Talk In The Morning?

Waiting for home time

'I needed some relief from data overload.'

"I'm not looking forward to my colonoscopy tomorrow so I rescheduled for yesterday."

'He can't be far. His phone is still warm.'

The Early Bird Gets The Worm

'It took him 12 years and 743 dates before he proposed; so don't be surprised it took him 5 glasses to decide the wine is off.'

"Stop bothering me while I'm trying to appear busy."