King Of Procrastination Gifts

"I couldn't retire. I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'I hate Mondays.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

Travelogue

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

In, Out, Shake it all about

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

'I understand you have nothing to do, York.'

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

Bob’s Museum

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Procrastinators Incorporated

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

Inactive wear store.