Marriage Problems Gifts

"I'm afraid we've lost that loving feeling."

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

'I did what you advised, then my wife did what your colleague advised!'

"I don't want to talk!"

"We are fighting so much I'm coming to live with you again."

The First of Many Arguments

"In ten seconds we can hate each other again."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

Wanna talk about it?

'I want to start by having you take separate staycations.'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

'Will I still be married?'

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

'We don't text anymore.'

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

"We both need to get away and unsidewind awhile."