Marital Problems Gifts

"It's not jsut that he walks upright and uses complex tools. He also makes me laugh."

He leaves, but soon realizes his roots run too deep.

"You're judging me again."

'Why is it that every time we have an argument, I'm the one who has to sleep in the toilet.'

"Our marriage has been experiencing a spot of turbulence lately."

'I can't give you truth or wisdom or anything like that. I'm here because my wife locked me out of the house.'

Wishing Well - "It works!"

"Do you beilieve in life after marriage?"

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

'It's my husband, Doctor. He makes me sick!'

'Do we LOOK as though we asked for 'Love is a Many Splendoured Thing'?'

Diplomacy

"Let's first discuss Sue's feelings of neglect, Tom... then you can get back to your 400 followers."

Henry's wife changed her mind about their divorce.

"Trust me....it was nothing you said!"

"We both need to get away and unsidewind awhile."

'I want to start by having you take separate staycations.'

"Then just when I thought all my marriage problems were over, he started breathing again!"

"You haven't 'Liked' my request for a divorce."

"My husband wouldn't come so I brought my lawyer."

"You'll have to be more specific, Ma'am - They're all no-good, worthless, drunken bums!''

"Yeah, he's sooo sweet, but I'm not happy as a clam!"

"I used to think you were quite a catch, but I've decided to throw you back!"

"...and what has my culinary genius conjured up to delight my taste buds tonight?"

"Two fundamental reasons why men frequent bars. 1) They don't have a woman. 2) They have a woman."

"I can't talk to him anymore. He's so...wireless remote!"

"Someone cut your brake lines. I can fix that, but it's up to you to patch things up at home."

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

"Why do you always side with him?!"

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

'For marital status, I put down horrible. It should improve if I get the job.'

"Old Baldy Bagshaw wasn't in today, so I bunked off early!"