Marriage Manager Gifts

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"I had to skip my workout."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"And another thing: What's that strange clicking thing you do with your beak?"

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

'You've changed since we got married.'

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

'My wife's therapist doesn't understand me.'

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

'Ask him where he goes every December 24th - because he won't tell me!'

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

'-but I keep telling you-these things take time...'

'Just think, darling - tomorrow the cooking will be all mine and the dishes yours!'

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

'Please don't interupt-we've only got 45 minutes.'

"You will awake feeling refreshed...."

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"I can try, but I've never had a marriage overturned on appeal."