Manager Of Married Employees Gifts

'I prefer to hire married men to bachelors. Married men don't get upset when I shout at them.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

'I give this one about three months...'

'I have been hearing some disturbing comments about you, Parker, some of your employees think you're a nice guy!'

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I had to skip my workout."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'It wasn't premeditated.

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

'-but I keep telling you-these things take time...'

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

'You say here that hard work doesn't scare you as long as you hide your eyes.'

"Your three o'clock moved to two o'clock, your two o'clock moved to one o'clock, and your one o'clock said you're fired."

'My parents are out bonding at an annuities seminar. Would you like to leave a message?'

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

"This is Bernard, our new management consultant. He is going to be responsible for draining the lifeblood out of staff in a relentless attempt to reach increasingly unachievable and meaningless targets."

'And will you take this man to the cleaners....'

'I fail to see the equality here. You have eight cats and I only have Casper.'

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"Being a mum is a full-time job."

'911!'