Marriage Mentors Gifts

'I could look like that too, if I didn't have to spend all my time correcting your faults.'

'This is the worst case of cold feet I have ever seen.'

"The secret to a lasting marriage is never buy something that needs to be assembled!!"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"I'm here for the hair."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"And another thing: What's that strange clicking thing you do with your beak?"

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

'You've changed since we got married.'

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"Well if it doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong, why don't I be right and you be wrong?"

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

'My wife's therapist doesn't understand me.'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'Ask him where he goes every December 24th - because he won't tell me!'

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"It's not what you think."

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

'Please don't interupt-we've only got 45 minutes.'

"You will awake feeling refreshed...."

'Do try and look intelligent-here comes my first husband...'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'We're past the 'romantic' phase and into the 'living hell' phase.'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'

"If you've been affected by any issues raised during our love-making there's a number you can call."

Scenes from a successful marriage.

"This is the new man. I want you to bring him up to speed."