Marriage Motivator Gifts

Married Life - Six months of marriage - 'Sympathy is the bond of souls'

'If we can save the whales we sure can save your marriage!'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

GCSEs

"And another thing: What's that strange clicking thing you do with your beak?"

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

'You've changed since we got married.'

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

'My wife's therapist doesn't understand me.'

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

'Ask him where he goes every December 24th - because he won't tell me!'

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

'Please don't interupt-we've only got 45 minutes.'

"You will awake feeling refreshed...."

Scenes from a successful marriage.

"How come you only loosen up when you've got a cold?"

"Just because I didn't tell you to shut up doesn't mean I wasn't listening."

"You make me want to be a better bag."

'It's all downhill from here.'

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

"Honey, please! I can’t concentrate with you in there being married to me!"

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

Marriage Guidance - Give and Take

'Hi, Mom. Meet my new significant other. My Prenup'

Tunnel of I Need You to Help Out More Around the House

"Either you meet your sales targets or you get 100 lashes. Have I motivated you?" CS628889

"Get me this! Get me that! Get me..."

"It's a fitting name. I walk you through the prenup agreement and counsel you through the divorce."

Relationship problems.