Marital Money Mentor Gifts

"Tut! You've tapped in the wrong number again!"

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"And another thing: What's that strange clicking thing you do with your beak?"

"I'm here for the hair."

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

'You've changed since we got married.'

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"Well if it doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong, why don't I be right and you be wrong?"

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

'My wife's therapist doesn't understand me.'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

'Ask him where he goes every December 24th - because he won't tell me!'

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"It's not what you think."

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'Please don't interupt-we've only got 45 minutes.'

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

'We're past the 'romantic' phase and into the 'living hell' phase.'

"You will awake feeling refreshed...."

"If you've been affected by any issues raised during our love-making there's a number you can call."

Scenes from a successful marriage.

"This is the new man. I want you to bring him up to speed."

'It's nothing serious. My wife and I just had a little tiff.' (Marriage counselor covered in bruises, cuts and bandages).

'I understand your reluctance to speak but your marriage is in a rut and your wife needs your input.'

'He always leads with his chin! Is that my fault?'